I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
