i can't believe i had my finger in that
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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