It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
