she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
