Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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