You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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