I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
