Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize