I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
