cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
