K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Randomize
