oh god the rape fog is back!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
