I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
