i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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