i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
