i need an iv and a liver transplant
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
