summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let's get the cat blown out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize