I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
