I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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