i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize