Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
