I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
And then he peed in my hair
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
