so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
