Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
In America we eat man semen.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize