I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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