so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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