Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
