6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
