You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
