I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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