there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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