she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
