Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
