I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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