after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
