I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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