Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I could make wine with my vomit
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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