scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
