Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
