I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
