We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
