I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
