yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
