Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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