Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
