How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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