I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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