So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
