Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
