Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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