Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
