i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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