I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
