what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
my poor anus
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
