would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
