Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
