I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
