Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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