I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
