Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
