where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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