I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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