every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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