Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
