the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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